Submission holds! No, not the WWE kind. The raw truth is that submission is the glue that holds relationships together and in particular, marriage. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21) Mutual submission – the Church to Christ and Christ to the Church; a pastor to their congregation and the congregation to their pastor; a wife to her husband and a husband to his wife – is the single most binding factor in relationships. Submission is not subservience. Submission is about problem-solving and getting along; its God’s common sense for success in life. When we work submission, submission works.
Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” The following was submitted, with permission, by a wife at North Pointe in response to Ephesians 5.
“I am not naturally a submissive person, but rather choleric who is outgoing and extroverted with strong opinions, focus driven and a decisive manner. I can be bossy and impatient and generally like to do things on my own because no one can do it better than my way. This “kick butt and take names” attitude serves me very well at work but not so much at home. I literally have to turn the switch off when I come home. It can be hard for me to soften and be compassionate or patient but as a wife I need to strive for these attributes.
When I was first married, I almost competed for the spotlight with my husband and if he didn’t get it done, I could do it myself. That theory burned and failed miserably. I learned how positive it was for our marriage for me to support him and allow him to be the hero and to be submissive to him. No sense in putting him down or chastising him or nagging, a positive word of love or encouragement sure got me a lot further. The more I give the more I receive, hmm, where have I heard that before? I need to be his biggest cheerleader and be on his team at all times. Not to say I don’t have an opinion or that I am second fiddle but the opposite seems to happen when you put your spouse first, they are more attentive and caring and come to you openly. I just want him to feel supported and loved and confident and the best place for him to get that is from me.
There is a pop culture analogy here….on Seinfeld, George Costanza realizes he is a loser and his life is a mess so he takes to doing the opposite of every instinct he has ever had and things start to turn around for him. The revelation is sometimes our instincts do not serve us well. I sometimes need to reject my urge to control and just trust my husband and God will take care of me as they have promised.
It has taken a lot of work for me to become submissive to my husband and to God. It is amazing what submissiveness can do for a marriage when you let go and trust the process.”