That was me before breast cancer.
From Fear to Peace
I am sitting on my deck reflecting on the day and feeling so peaceful. These past couple of months have been the hardest and most blessed in my life.
Cancer. The diagnosis terrified me. Would the cancer kill me?
My fear made me feel guilty. An inner voice nagged me, “Isn’t love supposed to cast out fear? Doesn’t God love you? Where’s your faith?”
I was afraid of chemo and radiation and everything associated with cancer.
Then I discovered how something life threatening could teach me how to live.
In February 2017 Dorothy Visser’s doctor informed her that she had breast cancer. Dorothy sat in my office recently and told me her story. She offered to share it here to give insight and support to others fighting a similar battle.
God has shown me that in Him there is awesome strength and peace and so much goodness. God has placed the most caring and loving people in my life to help me through this season.
I will forever be grateful for this time and what it has taught me.
My amazing husband that thinks I am beautiful even though I am now bald and have lost weight because of my fear of food.
I have three daughters whom I love beyond measure and who love me just as much.
My family are there for me whenever I need to talk or help get our basement put back together or just sit with me when I am feeling down and lonely.
I have friends old and new who are willing to pray for me and spend time with me even though I cry a lot.
Through A Daughter’s Eyes
Rachel, Dorothy’s twenty one year old daughter says of her mom,
“These past four months have been an emotional roller coaster, but throughout it all I have learned that my mom is a serious badass. Even with being diagnosed with breast cancer she has kept her head up and has been so willing to fight anything that has been thrown at her.
I didn’t think I could look up to her more but every day she proves me wrong. She is so selfless, strong, courageous, and beautiful. I am so lucky to have such an amazing role model and I am so incredibly proud to call her my mom.”
Cancer can be a lonely journey but God has taught me first and foremost that He is with me through every step of this journey and He is so good!
He knew the people that I would need the most to support me on this journey and placed them in my life knowing they would take care and comfort me.
Experience also taught me what well-intentioned people should not say.
What Not To Say To People Diagnosed With Cancer
1. Please don’t talk about their mortality in any way shape or form. We are very aware of our mortality and having people remind you of it makes you feel hopeless.
2. Don’t talk about how it could be worse. Hearing you have cancer, no matter what stage it is, is life changing.
3. Don’t tell them every person you know that has died of cancer. It just reinforces our fears of the cancer taking our lives.
4. Don’t say you just need to stay positive. If you are struggling with staying positive it can make you feel guilty.
5. Don’t give tell us your opinion on what you think we should do or not do for treatment of our cancer. It is a very difficult decision to make. Having people telling you what they would do in your situation can feel overwhelming and make you feel like you may have made the wrong decision.
To all of my family and friends that have helped me by praying, talks, walks and foods please know you have made me feel so loved.
God bless you all!
Dorothy will be running in the CIBC Run For The Cure. You can support here here.
APPLICATION: Please leave a comment below for Dorothy. Share this with people you know who need an understanding voice.
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